


ghosts

by nereid



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Depression, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-04-04 01:58:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4121908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nereid/pseuds/nereid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>it's like magic gone horribly wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	ghosts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [killing_kurare](https://archiveofourown.org/users/killing_kurare/gifts).



if daphne knew breakfast at tiffany's, she'd recognize this state of pansy's and call it by its true name - the mean reds (see also: depression heartache, and mostly just fear).

daphne would like to say she got better at situations like these. that would mean progress, it would mean she did something right. if would mean pansy stops being afraid sooner. it would mean _something_ , would count for something.

daphne's learning to understand better.

(probably, maybe, _merlin_ , she hopes she is).

learning to understand that she let herself see through pansy's veil and that not even pansy can do that sometimes, even if it's she who put up the veil.

 _i can't do this_ , pansy yells some days and her hands shake and she makes her words true by saying them, it's like magic gone horribly wrong.

daphne doesn't know what to do with pansy these days, or what to do with herself. she puts extra effort into procuring lunch, makes sure to buy pansy's favorite brand of chocolate muffins, puts her head on her shoulder and sits with her in silence. she's not sure if she's just foolish for thinking any of this helps or foolish for not knowing better or foolish for wondering about this at all. she's not sure whether to kiss pansy those days, not wanting to make this into a habit when she doesn't want it to be one, not wanting to associate kissing with this state of them, but pansy cries sometimes and if she starts crying, daphne usually stops wondering all these things and just kisses her with tears streaming down her face and sometimes they cry together and sometimes pansy stops crying then.

 

daphne's not sure what it is that does this to pansy, and can't think of anyone that could make her like this -- other than pansy -- so it must be her, somehow. daphne wishes always that she could see better, see the outlines of the ghosts haunting pansy, so she could help her stop them. and maybe she does with time or maybe they both just get used to them, she's not sure.

pansy has better days and she has worse days. she gets up early some days and cooks sometimes and sings to herself in the kitchen and puts on an apron and insists they dance in the kitchen and she kisses daphne with flour on her face. some other days, she refuses to get out of bed until noon and doesn't eat or eats a lot and doesn't look at daphne's face at all.

 

pansy doesn't look like she cares on some days, but daphne knows she does, it's just ghosts clouding her vision, that's all.

daphne tries to see for both of them. sometimes she succeeds and sometimes she doesn't.

some days tears always stream down someone's face, and some other days someone is always singing.

the important thing is -

daphne holds her hand on both sorts of days because she loves her on both sorts of days.

 

(pansy learns not to let go.)


End file.
